Saturday 1 October 2005

Zombies

The problem with having to rely on internet cafe's is that they are full of distractions, right now the one that I am in is playing something that is no doubt very 'arty'. I don't know if anyone has ever tried to have a coherent thought whilst listening to this music but I don't think it's possible.

Right now there is a discordant squawking that sounds exactly like a goose would sound if it was fighting for it's life in the strings of a piano whilst someone made cappuccino in the back ground. Oh someone is making cappuccino, sorry I thought that was part of the music. I have no idea who made the music but it sounds like a cross between Gong and Hoodlum Priest. The strange thing is that the other people in here seem completely unfazed by it, how do they cope? They seem to be able to function normally, reading papers, ordering drinks, even talking on the phone. How oh how do they resist the urge to curl up in a ball on the floor screaming - no no no make it stop, for the love of God make it stop? Perhaps they are strange zombie types whose brains have been removed. I'm onto them though. The problem I now face is how I get out of here without alerting them to the fact that I am not a Zombie? How did they escape the Zombies in Sean of the dead? Shotgun! As tempting as the shotgun option is I perceive this route to lead to lead to awkward questions from the local constabulary. It is a long time since I studied law so I could have forgotten something but I am fairly convinced that 'Zombies' is not a defence recognised in a court of law. The more immediate problem with the shotgun approach to removing myself from this Zombie encrusted internet cafe is the lack of a shotgun. The only way out of this situation then is to adopt a glazed expression, sway about a bit and if approached claim not to speak English.

The music has stopped! It feels as though someone has removed a big pile of cotton wool from the middle of my brain thus allowing me to think clearly again. Phew.


Hammocks.

The other night I attempted sleeping the hammock again. It was good, there where two or three factors involved in this being an improvement on previous experiences. A lot of thanks needs to go then to people who made the suggestions that proved to be key.

I am using a Hennesey Hammock - I'm happy to name it now that I have good stuff to say about it - it has a main supporting rope that takes all the weight but it also has two supporting strings coming out from the sides. The last time I used the hammock I complained that it swung about and that I could not sleep as a consequence. Some crafty sole pointed out that these extra strings where there to stop the hammock from swinging, makes sense and the last time I had used the hammock I had not been bothered to tie off the strings on the side. True enough, those strings stop the thing from swinging. I mentioned a while back that a friend of mine from work gave me an army sleeping bag that he no longer used, well it turned up on Tuesday - I think it was Tuesday. This sleeping bag has a waterproof underside so it can be used on wet ground without the damp seeping through. This waterproof layer also serves as an extra layer of insulation and has proved to help protect against cold when sleeping in the hammock. I have found that sleeping in a hammock I get a lot colder that I do sleeping on the ground. Lying in the hammock the underside of the sleeping bag is compressed thus loosing all of it's insulating layer so the cold air of the night permeated rapidly through the hammock leaving me rather cold. I believe that it was the fact that which ever bit of me was facing downwards was getting cold was the reason why I was rolling about so much, I discovered that rolling about a lot whilst lying in a hammock did not lead to happyville. The other thing with this new sleeping bag is that it has a zip whereas my old one did not, this makes getting in and out of the hammock a whole bunch easier, it is still a complete pain but it is a lot better than it was. I had a good night's sleep, it was great, hugely comfortable and when I awoke the next morning I really didn't want to get up. Strange that, there I am all warm and comfortable at 5.30 in the morning and for some reason I didn't want to get up into the cold wet muddy world in the complete darkness and run to meet the people I had arranged to meet. It took an effort to get up, a huge effort.

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