Tuesday, 13 September 2005


Last night was warm and clear so I chose a field on top of a hill to sleep on. Ed from the Independent came out for the night and brought beer and sausages, luxury. England winning the ashes, beer, food, English countryside – sorted.

Slept very well, not sure about Ed he was asleep on the bus when I got off. I guess I must have got used to sleeping on the ground again. The other night I woke up and found that I had been rolling about so much in my sleep that I was about 2 meters from my starting point, this is what I mean by my being incompatible with a Hammock, there is not 2 meters of rolling in a hammock, even with the best will in the world. I was reminded that if I had attached the Hammock properly last time I used it, it would not have swung about so much, this is true and in light of this I will get it out some time soon and have another go at sleeping in it. I am not convinced I will like it.

Bruce says hi


Pandiotic said...

You should get more journos to spent a night ruffing it with you.

After journos you could get some other city types, and later students to learn your ways.

Then, you could turn into the man o' forest and only speak sagely about oregano and marjorama. The danger would be if you got carried away and started to talk bolognaise.

ODM (Original Ditch Monkey) said...

Truly you are fluent in the bolognaise, verily it slips off your tongue more smoothly than your body does from skis.

filiusbloggeri said...

I had no idea that vagrancy was a route to stardom. I am inspired.

May I ask why you are known as ditchmonkey and not, for example, ditchweasel or ditchgoose?

kleesrosegarden said...

I take it nearly all of your friends (and all of the female ones) have told you that you're a little bit nuts and may catch pneumonia, so there's probably little point in hoping that you wrap up warm and manage to take a nice hot bath at regular intervals at friends' houses? But well done on the whole raising awareness thing.

Heard about you on Steve Wright so you certainly seem to be getting somewhere with that... but that can't be your whole reasoning for living in a ditch, surely? (Or on top of a hill, or a.n. other cold and damp place).

At least you're reviving that excellent tradition of English eccentricity...

ODM (Original Ditch Monkey) said...


I'm trying to raise money for the Woodland Trust. Do feel free to follow the 'sponsor me' link and do just that :)

Pandiotic said...


Your blog used to be number 3 on Google, now it is almost on page 2. There are other Ditchmonkeys more powerful than you.

This is anti-fame. May Steve Wright rescue you from this ignomany (and if you see any gnomes, for there are many, don't borrow their wellies).

Have you seen any Sprites so far, or Fantas? My girlfriend likes faeries, she is what is known as a fag-hag.

The ScraggMeister said...

Good work fella! Keeping me amused with your daily musings. Concerned about Bruce however if you're rolling around that much!
Donation to follow.

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SameOld said...

ODM, I find your efforts inspirational. If I didn't have to get the kids to school, I'd be right with you! :-) I admire your amateur approach, kinda like an anti-Ray Mears. If you two should meet then you would both cancel each other out in a flash of light.
Is this the start of a Ditch Monkey Movement?

ODM (Original Ditch Monkey) said...

Why Ditchmonkey?

Many reasons and I will go into them sometime.

The abridged version of the story is - it just kinda fits.