Its going on

Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness never spent his last fiver on a brace of passion fruit martinis.

Anon.

I’m not sure how true this is but it appears that tonight I’m going to find out, I have hit the skint part of the month but tonight is Rob’s leaving do. He is leaving Sotheby’s to go and work elsewhere. This is London though, if I find a brace of any drinks for a fiver I’ll be sure and snap them up.

Oh yes, I remember, ages ago I was sat next to the fire and I figured out how to save the world. I think I’m going to be on line for a Nobel Prize with this one. I’ll explain slowly as there is a little bit of complex science going on.

Right

There are three problems

1 Global warming due to carbon emissions

2 Lots of rubbish going to land fill sites, rotting and producing methane which also causes global warming

3 The resultant rise in sea level

There is a solution to these problems.

1 Gather up all the empty plastic bottles that would otherwise go to the tip.

2 Fill them with sea water (thus fighting the rising sea levels)

3 This is the real genius bit. Get a soda stream and carbonate all the sea water bottles thus using up lots of carbon.

4 Take the bottles back to the Arctic / Antarctic (depends if you want to see polar bears or penguins)

5 Home in time for tea and medals.