Wednesday, 29 June 2005


Rice is nutritious and delicious but it can also be very annoying. Whilst I agree with Johnny Vegas who pointed out that rice is shorter than spaghetti I have to say that for me this renders it worse than spaghetti, not better. Mr Vegas might well take issue with this so I shall explain my reasoning in greater detail. A week or so ago I bought some Thai Sticky rice to have with a Thai curry (I believe that this is what is known as joined up thinking), having not finished the packet of rice I decided to pack the rice away for a later date, I diligently wrapped the packet of rice in another bag and put it in my pack. Now the rucksack I have is too small for the job in question so everything gets crammed in, I think this might have some bearing on the current state of the bag of rice; it is ripped open, exploded if you will. Rice has gone everywhere. I did not think that this would be much of an issue, all my clothes are waterproofed in separate bags, in fact everything is in a bag or box of some kind. This led me to believe that it would be simple to tip the rice out and be done with the thing. Oh no no, rice keeps appearing where ever I go, loads of it. If I visit anyone then when I come to leave there is rice scattered all over the carpet when I come to leave. I am getting a bit fed up of spending so much time crawling around on my hands and knees picking up grains of rice whilst someone hovers in the back ground talking about getting the vacuum out anyway and saying that I should not worry about it.

Cantonese chicken with cashew nuts is nutritious and delicious but it can also be annoying. I bought a ready meal from Sainsbury’s and jammed it into my pack. Tightening the strap I heard a hollow popping sound which I decided was best to ignore. Cleaning Cantonese chicken with cashew nuts from the inside of a rucksack and the outside of the various bags and boxes that live in the pack without a source of running water is an activity I will not recommend. Doing it with little more than some long grass is a hobby best left to others I feel.

Mirrors are shiny and reflective but are also fragile. So fragile in fact that if one where to pack ones shaving mirror in their wash bag that then got crammed into slightly less space than it would naturally inhabit then one could well end up with two mirrors where there had previously been one. Broken Mirrors are sharp. Toothpaste is sticky and tangy; toothpaste tubes are liable to be punctured by broken mirrors; toothpaste goes everywhere and is not easily removed by grass alone. Rice sticks to toothpaste.