Thursday 15 December 2005

Hectic again

The last few days have been hectic, hugely hectic and not very exciting this, I’m afraid to say, is what happens when you are forced into the unhappy situation of working for a living. Admittedly the decision to live in the woods has not made life any easier, in fact it could be said to have complicated things beyond all reason. I did attempt to capture the essence of pure administrational chaos that my life has become by writing a little on the planning that goes into just keeping my life heading in vaguely the right direction for just one 48 hour period. However, I got a short way through writing it and realised that writing it was even more dull that living it, I read through it and discovered that to be duller still. I may try again sometime but right now there is the Staff Christmas party to look forward too as well as mince pies to eat and banter to be had.

Basically I ended up in the centre of town at about ten o’clock last night with my rucksack being somewhere else. I am, you may recall, also suffering from Bronchitis and the idea of a night out in the woods without a sleeping bag did not appeal. I also had had a worrying email from Mum. She has read the blog for the first time in a week and apparently I have to stop wearing wet clothes and sleeping in wet sleeping bags! If I “croak simply to make a point” she will be “severely displeased”. This is not good, severely displeased Mothers are best avoided; even mildly annoyed Mothers are things designed to strike fear to the very heart of a son. It seemed wise to stay in town for the night if for no other reason than to allow myself to recover from the Bronchitis thing. So I thought it best to get a hotel for the night, well I didn’t have any of my friends phone numbers on me so I was forced to get a hotel.

I don’t know if you have ever played Monopoly but if you have you will probably be well aware of the price of Hotels over in the Dark Blue section of the board. Yesterday and this morning I was working in Bond St (Dark Green) but there are no hotels there but Bond St is but a short walk from Park Lane (Dark Blue). Hotels in the real world on the Dark Blue sections of this world cost a frightening amount of money. I left the Hotel on Park Lane and asked the Concierge directions for Old Kent Road and he dutifully started unfolding a map and so I was forced to explain that I was joking and he looked at me blankly. I like it when people look at me blankly, it usually means that I have just got away with saying something incredibly rude and I probably have just enough time to get out of striking distance before the penny drops.

I ended up having to spend a hideously large amount of money for a room for the night as all the reasonably priced rooms within a 10,000 mile radius were taken. There was nothing for it; I would have to make the most of it. I collapsed on the large comfortable bed, put some mindless drivel on the TV and then walked about a bit switching lights on and off and boiling water. I then suddenly had the craving for a pot noodle (Bombay Bad Boy) so popped out to Whistlestop and bought one which I then felt the need to smuggle back into the hotel wrapped up in my jumper. So I watched an episode of Space Cadets ate Pot Noodle and went to bed. You can say what you like but I think being ill is excellent – I might do it again sometime. Not tonight though, back to the woods tonight (antics after the party permitting).

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