Monday, 19 June 2006

Boy am I glad to be back at work

"Sweet"

Eric Cartmen

I read in the Times on Saturday that this blog has a cult following. That would make me Keith Moon and you lot the Moonies right? I have always wanted a cult, although cult is such an ugly word, I prefer Misunderstood Religious Organisation Who Actually Will Save The World And Your Soul And Make You More Attractive To The Opposite Sex And Stuff; this is a rather clever acronym MROWAWSTWAYSAMYMATTOSAS.

All members of MROWAWSTWAYSAMYMATTOSAS need to do is place 80% of their income into my Swiss bank account and sign over all rights to everything you own to me. Now this is for your own good, you can’t go finding enlightenment by having stuff, what you need to do is to go and live in the woods and eat nettles not gallivant about the place buying things. I, at great personal cost, will look after all your money by investing it in a mansion on the beach in Hawaii, and will live in it to make sure no one steels it. Just to be extra safe I will have a crack team of bodyguards (Swedish National Bikini Team) on hand heavily armed with bottles of champagne in case evil doers need fighting off. Look what I do for you, I think I deserve a Blue Peter badge me.


Oh and if the FBI come looking - "you ain't seen me, right?"

4 comments:

steph said...

You can take charge of 80% of my overdraft. Yeah who needs 'stuff?'Isn't a Blue Peter badge stuff? It'll be a bit heavy to carry around in the jungle. Is there a Swedish National Bikini Team? Perhaps you could take them to the jungle with you, but they'll need you to rub on insect repellant if they're just wearing their team strip.

ODM (Original Ditch Monkey) said...

http://www.swedishbikiniteam.com/index.html

ODM (Original Ditch Monkey) said...

I don't think a Blue Peter badge is stuff, it's a thing.

ODM (Original Ditch Monkey) said...

I don't think a Blue Peter badge is stuff, it's a thing.