Ich Bein Ine Ditchmonkey

Somehow I ended up in Frankfurt the other day. I had to take a hire car back. By the time I got there it was too late to take a train back so I ended up staying over in a hotel, it seems that whilst I may not have become fully accustomed to living in the woods yet I have managed in the space of just over a week to become fairly unaccustomed to the indoors. It was far too hot and stuffy, the bed was too soft and the pillows whilst looking luxurious were far too impractical to use as each one was the size of a small horse. Having discovered that sleep was not an option, at least not in the short term, so I went out. With the sharpened senses of an ally cat I surveyed my surroundings, kebab shops jostled with all you can eat buffets, neon signs indicated that in the clubs on the street dancing was a spectator sport rather than participatory event one is accustomed too in discotheques. Outside one such a club a girl wearing little more than tatooes smoked a cigarette and handed out fliers to a group of drunk lads. Hmmmmmm? I think I'm staying in the red light district, I phoned the girlfriend to share the good news but was disapointed to find her less taken with my situation than I.

I am pleased to report though that, despite having taken many a lecture on the superior standard of German public transport, my first train was ten minutes late and as a result of this I missed my second train and had to wait an hour for the next one. It took nine hours to get back to Verbier. I had been away for two days and one night and the entire journey had been bathed in glorious sunshine, so despite being fatigued from a poor night's sleep and much travelling I was looking forward to heading up the mountain, lighting a fire and cooking some decent food. Not having any food I popped into the shop ten minutes before it shut, bumped into Nat who was very pleased at just having met Lance Armstrong, grabbed some key ingredients and headed back out into an enormous rain storm. Fortunately I had left the basha up in a spot I wanted to check out for suitability so at least I would have somewhere dry to sleep. Somewhere dry and extremely uncomfortable as it turned out.